So I had Physical Therapy today at the hospital. It went well, in that painful sort of way. They gave me exercises to do at home since, as the PT pointed out, I can't get the second surgery till the swelling all goes down and I have full range of motion (at the moment I can't bend my knee even to 90 degrees, nor straighten it all the way). Anyway, minus the pedaling activity, they all seem to be good ideas.

Being the good patient I am (insert skeptical laugh here), after I got back from dinner (side note: first time off campus since the injury, if you don't include hospital visits...curry in Tai Po...yum!), I took care of a few tasks related to Spanish and my life, and then proceeded to do the exercises. As they are boring beyond all belief and essentially require me to be lying down either on my back or side, I read while doing them. The first three were fine, peachy keen, painful, but okay. The fourth one...my knee gave out. It's fine now *knocks on wood*. Essentially, I have to lie on my stomach and bring my right knee up towards my head...just as much as the pain will let me do. Unfortunately, what the PT neglected to tell me, was that I have NO STRENGTH OR CONTROL whatsoever of my knee. Perhaps this is one of those self-evident things to which I am completely oblivious. Regardless, my knee fell...it went sideways and towards my head in a way that knees should not move. And it hurt. I screamed (hopefully no one heard) and I seriously thought I had broken something. Five minutes of pain later, it lessened to tolerable, and now it just throbs as per usual. But the pain was something I cannot accurately describe. It's happened once before, to a lesser degree. I was going to sit down and forgot to move my leg so that I didn't bend it to sit, and the pain shot up my leg. Luckily I was able to take the weight from it quickly, so it wasn't bad. But this time, due to gravity and the fact that I was in essentially a helpless position, it hurt. It feels like a weakness that burns, running from your knee up to your hip. It's not the kind that makes you cry (unlike that pedaling exercise); it's the kind that makes you scream. *shrug* I'll not be doing that exercise for a bit. I'll come up with another bending one, cause that was too risky.

I know it seems as if all my posts are about my injury. In a way, this record is as much for me as informative for others. I feel that, as a writer (sorta), this experience is a cache of material for future pieces. Not, of course, that they will all be about knee injuries. Yet as the novels I've been reading suggest, pain, courage, and helplessness generate great stories. "Terrible yes. But great." (Rowling, HP and the Sorcerer's Stone, some page I can't remember which). I'm such a dork.

Anyway. Onto more exciting things. One of the ETAs and I have been offered the chance to run an 8-10 week class on basic survival Spanish. Incredibly psyched for that!!!! I meant to go to French today, but it didn't quite happen. We'll blame PT. Or something. Also, I'll sit in on my first workshops tomorrow (I missed my first ones for the very good reason that I was getting surgery and was confined to a bed in the Orthopedic Ward...like you do). So that's exciting. Also, final callbacks for Aladdin are tomorrow night, and we should have the cast set after we meet with the directors and the musical director. We (myself and another ETA) are merely the choreographers. Which admittedly is no small task.

I'm hoping my schedule fills up...I've spent a lot of time brooding, partially induced by the can't-move-anywhere-been-in-a-hospital scenario. But I'd like to be up and about and getting things done. Doing something. I'm used to running a Bryn Mawr schedule...this time last year, I had four jobs (Dining Services Supervisor 8 hours, Hall Adviser undisclosed time req, Peer Mentor 4-6 hours, and Human Resources student receptionist 8 hours), was dancing between 9-12 hours a week, taking a full schedule of classes, starting research for my Senior Thesis, and applying for the Fulbright. I mean, it drove me crazy sometimes. But that's what I want again...that kind of busy. Well, almost that kind of busy. ;)

Mmmkay, my knee has finally stopped throbbing, though my leg still feels weak. I suppose I'll do something more productive than update my blog. Like discover the meaning of life, the universe, and everything...in Spanish.

I'm having some trouble sleeping again. I don't know what it is. I'm physically tired, of course, because hauling myself around is wearying, but for some reason this doesn't translate to a nice sound sleep. I had terrible dreams one...maybe Monday night. The kind of dreams that could be scenes from horror movies that I don't watch...torture, agony, etc. And then last night I just couldn't sleep. I laid in bed for two hours, just staring up. And the first few nights out of the hospital, of course, were bad too, because of the pain. And I'm clenching as I sleep. So sometimes I jerk my knee in while asleep...and that wakes me up.

Meh, I think I'm just pitying myself. *snaps out of it* Things to do. Places to go. People to see. Courses to design. Dances to choreograph. Books to read.